When I was but a little tyke I, like most children my age, went to an Elementary school. It was there, in that humble sized school of about 200 or so students, where I got my first glimpse into what we call “Social Studies”. Part of this basic foray of our government, history, and culture was a brief study of our (the US’) Constitution. We went over the social scene at the time and why the founding fathers wanted to put the things in there that they did. Most of what was put into the Constitution was put in there due to an English policy that the then colonists didn’t see eye-to-eye with… Fuck, you don’t need to have this explained to you! If you’re here then I’m gonna just give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you passed the fifth grade. Back on course:
It was there that I learned that there is supposed to be a clear separation between the Church and the State. Obliviously that shit hasn’t worked out, has it? And while I could bust out a large number of commonly sited examples, I going to take the road less traveled and talk about a lesser given (or at not so over-used) example: the fact that many counties in America can’t sell alcohol on Sundays. This annoys me in two different ways; both as an American citizen who loves freedom and wants the government to abide by the rules, and the fact that it affects me in a personal way. I’ll touch on the latter of the two in a bit, but for now, let’s focus on the Constitution and my crazy Libertarian point of view.
In the ‘20’s a bunch of folks pushed their way up to the highest level of government and got a Constitutional amendment passed that criminalized alcohol in the US. This action was heavily fueled by Protestant reformers that wanted to make Jesus happy. Once the government realized it didn’t fucking work (and maybe that trying to control what people do with their bodies is totally against what this country was founded on), they repealed the action and everyone could go back to happily obtaining their alcohol legally. Defeated, our Protestant heroes would abandon the fight to get rid of booze and would go onto ban just about every other drug in order to force their morality and way of life on us, thus saving our souls. However, just because they didn’t have any luck on getting rid of alcohol throughout the entire country doesn’t mean they had to give up the fight for their home town. ‘Cause if there’s one thing the crusades have taught us, it’s that the religious don’t give up fighting (seriously- there was, like, what- 10 of those?). So they ban alcohol in the state or county they reside in.
What the fucking fuck?! Where’s the fucking Supreme Court on that shit? It’s not like you can even attempt to try and argue that this shit isn’t solely driving by religion. If you could, it’d be different- but you fucking can’t. Granted most places don’t resort to this level of extreme control, they just ban selling beer on Sunday, the only day Jesus really cares about apparently. There’s a trade-off with this method: This way you’re at least given freedom of choice most of the time, but it makes the fact that the law is in the name of God even more obvious. Either way you slice it, preventing the sale of alcohol to adults is unconstitutional.
So you might be asking yourself why I’m so Goddamn riled up about this crap. I’m 18, it’s not like I care about real life things that affect our lives and freedom, I just want to play video games, hang out at the mall, and chase tail. It’s not like I know about the Constitution, what it promises us, the concepts of freedom and oppression, and the history of power being abused by those who wield it. Well you’re fucking wrong. I’m well aware of past governments (including the past of this one) and their desire to take away liberties and subjugate their population. And it disgusts to see our government telling us what we can and can’t do for reason other than the fact that what we’re doing would violate other people’s rights. Forbidding drugs, including alcohol and any other drug that’ll get you in trouble with the law, is a prime example of the injustice. It’s just another action of an ever oppressive and power hungry entity that has no compassion for the people it’s supposed to protect. Power should be limited to protecting our rights from other people who seek to harm them and should be given to the government on our terms, not theirs. Also, since the Constitution is supposed to separate church and state, the whole thing about the entire alcohol issue being an entirely religious crusade comes around here again.
But what really get my goat almost as much as the whole “raping freedom” bit is the fact that on Saturday night, all the drunks fell it necessary to stock up for the next day’s supply of booze. Now, I work at a grocery store, and week-in and week-out I have to deal with these people every fucking Saturday night I have to work. Seriously, do have any idea how annoying some of those dumb motherfuckers are? Holy shit, being at that store from 10pm-1am (that when they all tend to flock there after they realize they might run out by tomorrow) while dealing with these assholes is like spending an eternity in Hell. They come in, go straight to the beer aisle, usually asking me where it is in their dribbley, profanity laced drunken spatter, go straight there (if they’re not too wasted to understand the concepts of “left” and “right”), by only beer, and check out; and somehow managing to piss me off in some other fashion. Usually it’s just me overhearing their inconsiderably loud dumbass conversations, or, God forbid, even worse trying to talk to me! Yeah, it’s bad enough just observing you maundering stupidity, but now you want to make me suffer a direct confrontation from you!
Honestly, what makes you think putting me through your incoherent babble is going to benefit any of us? The smell of you’re breath alone makes me want to end my own life. Let alone the fact that whatever you’re saying is likely so stupid, it’s effectively making me stupider. Plus, what really makes you think that your feeble little brain can come up with anything to say to me work responding to? I’m not sure if it’s just you’re current drunken state, or if you’re naturally that dumb (possibly from the loss of brain cells) but whatever it is, you’re best off just cutting contact with the rest of humanity. Because your intermingling with other people who can actually construct decently intelligent thoughts in their heads certainly isn’t helping anyone.
So if nothing else, when you think of any sort of alcohol control just think of us poor bastards who have to put up with those drunken assholes during their last second Saturday night beer runs.
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